Comedian Almighty

One day God sat down and said, "Y'know what would be a hoot? Take a biological imperative and cast it as a sin. Ha! I kill Me! Let's see...which one? Eating? Nah. Too many kinds of food, I'd never keep up. Those bald monkeys will eat anything that doesn't eat them first. Evacuating bowels? Meh. Too stinky. Wait! I've got it. Sex! They're hardwired to want it -- hell, they can't even stop thinking about it. And every time they pair up, I double down. Perfect! Well...better get cracking. Them Philistines ain't gonna guilt-trip themselves.