It was a year of worst-case scenarios, diminished expectations, celebrity train wrecks, and the ironic triumph of church over state in the midst of what Rolling Stone called the “GOP's Best Gay Sex Year Ever."This year the White House discovered something even more fun than a Republican controlled congress that bows down – a Democratic controlled congress that bends over. It became clear that Bush will be allowed to retire quietly to Crawford, without ever once having had to break a sweat, over anything. If we can just find our way to a new administration without new invasion & occupation combo platter in the Middle East, we can count ourselves lucky.
The mainstream media made an art form out of whistling past the graveyard in 2007. But, really, how can journalists be expected to fuss over nine billion dollars a month slipping into the Black Hole of Mesopotamia when there’s a pretty white girl still missing in Aruba?
With teen pregnancy rates on the rise for the first time in fourteen years, 2007 was a banner year for abstinence-only sex education. Jamie Lynn Spears is the poster child.
Homeowners were shocked – shocked! – to learn that their adjustable rate mortgages are, in fact, adjustable.
And it’s a good thing this whole “climate change” thing is just a tree hugging liberal conspiracy theory, or we’d really be in trouble. We’re only a couple of Katrinas away from joining the Third World.
So – the best part about putting 2007 in the rear view mirror? We’re that much closer to November, 2008.
Happy New Year.
Illustration by Lollygaggin
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